What to Do With Cremains
I started this post in June 2019 and here we are in July 2021. I’m not sure what happened (well, life and work and Covid all happened actually) but here we are. And maybe it’s for the best, because in this time I have lost two of my pets which sent me on the search for even more options, and I’ve found what I think are some pretty awesome companies. So let’s jump into what can be done with cremains.
1. Spread the ashes
Was there a particular area your loved one enjoyed spending time at? You might think about scattering ashes there. This is not something that can be done without planning, though. Depending on where the ashes are going to be scattered, permits may be required.
Private Property: In most states, this can be done with just the permission of the landowner (it’s best practice to double-check laws applicable to where the scattering will take place to make sure nothing else is needed, though. Always better safe than sorry).
National park/public lands: The national parks have made it pretty easy to find out if this is allowed and what needs to be done to legally spread ashes there. Just go to nps.gov, find the park you want, use the “Plan Your Visit” drop-down menu and find “Basic information” > “Permits and Reservations”. Depending on the park, there may be a specific option for “Scattering Ashes” but for others, this is listed under “Special Use Permits”. This website is also a handy reference. If you can’t find the information you’re looking for, you can try calling the park. The phone number will be listed under contact information at the bottom of the page (this is a good idea for other places too if you can’t find the info online give them a call and see if someone can help you). If you’re looking to scatter on public land but it isn’t a national park, do a quick search to find who the governing agency is and give them a call to see what, if anything is needed.
Water: The Federal Clean Water Act requires ashes to be scattered at least 3 nautical miles from the shore if scattering them at sea, the ashes must either be in an urn the will decompose or be removed from the urn for scattering, and the EPA must be notified within 30 days of scattering (this is their online reporting tool). If you’re looking at inland water (lakes, rivers), requirements vary based on the governing agency in charge of that waterway.
Maybe you or your loved one wanted to opt for a company to scatter the ashes for you? Believe it or not, there are companies that will do that. Here’s just a few that I found, although there are a number of companies that provide this service (I have not worked with any of the companies and do not have a relationship with them. These are just potential resources I have found):
https://www.thelivingurn.com/pages/ash-scattering-services
https://www.cremainsatsea.com/
https://www.internationalscatteringsociety.com/
2. Keep the ashes in an urn. If the plan is to keep the ashes long-term, there are many urn options available. Here are just a few companies that have caught my eye:
The Living Urn This company provides many services and one of those is their EcoHome. This is a box-shaped urn made from bamboo, making it a more sustainable option. This is a very beautiful and simple option.
OakTree/Loyal These are two companies made by the same co-founders, with Loyal focusing on the loss of pets. They offer many interesting urns that don’t look like traditional urns and per their FAQ, they are handmade and prioritize using sustainable materials.
Boyce Studio These are beautiful wooden urns that double as planters. On top of being beautiful and unique, (and not looking like traditional urns) these are also made in the US (L.A) and use responsibly sourced material (wood that is rescued or FSC certified, sustainably harvested cork).
Spirit Vessel These are ceramic urns that are handmade in the US (New Mexico). Like the Boye Studio urns, I love that the Spirit Vessel urns don’t look like a traditional urn and instead can become a part of your decor while also letting you have a physical remembrance of your loved one. These also come with a guide to create a ceremony (pre-planning, end of life, and living memorial).
This link is an affiliate link, meaning that I receive a commission from purchases made using this link. I have partnered with Spirit Vessel because I believe they are providing a beautiful product and that they have the interest of their customers in mind. I have spoken with the founders of the company and I’m excited about their current offerings and what they hope to do in the future. I wouldn’t have partnered with them or include them on any list if I didn’t believe in them and their product. However, if you are for any reason uncomfortable with affiliate links, you can still look at their website by going to www.spiritvessel.com and purchase that way.
3. Turn the ashes into keepsake jewelry. Lots of companies are offering this now and there are many options from jewelry that can hold ashes to jewelry that incorporates the ashes. Some of the companies that I think are offering beautiful pieces are:
Close By Me This company offers many types of jewelry in sterling silver, 14K gold, and 14K rose gold. There are so many options for the type of jewelry and setting, so I think many people would be able to find a beautiful piece that speaks to them.
Ashes into Glass This is a company that makes jewelry that combines your loved one’s ashes with glass crystals and clear molten glass to create a unique gemstone that can then be put into one of the settings that they offer. There aren’t as many setting options as Close By Me, but the available ones are beautiful.
Eterneva This company turns ashes into diamonds, with the option to have the diamond set into jewelry before being returned to you. The pieces I’ve seen come from this company are beautiful and so unique. This is one of the first memorial jewelry companies I came across (way before my Death Doula journey) and they are one I keep coming back to.
4. Turn the ashes into memorial art. Maybe memorial jewelry isn’t your cup of tea but you want something beautiful to remember your loved one with. There are many artists making paperweights, sun catchers, stones, etc. Some that I found are:
5. Turn the ashes into vinyl
If you or your loved one were vinyl fans, having ashes pressed into vinyl might be the right choice. And Vinyly does that and gives the option to record a message, your favorite song, or leave it blank.
6. Commission a memorial portrait
Icons in Ash is offering memorial portraits, where ashes are mixed into the medium being used to create the portrait.
7. Turn the ashes into fireworks.
If you’re in the US, there’s only one place that I can find that does this and that’s Greenlawn Funeral Home in Missouri. They offer packages, but these are professional-grade fireworks that must be launched by professionals, so if this interests you, you’ll need to plan on your loved ones going to Missouri to see the show.
8. Plant a tree. Looking for a way to help the environment through this process? You could buy a BioUrn or a Living Urn which contains a way to plant a tree and nourish it while mixing the ashes in with the soil.
Something important to think about with any of these options is the cost. As with most things related to death, many of these options are expensive. If you’re in the process of advance care planning, consider not only what you want but how that will be paid for. Will your loved ones be able to use money from an insurance policy? Do you need to set money aside for this? Is someone able to access that money after your death? And if you have questions, let me know!